So you’re browsing various profiles on your favorite online dating site and you come across a woman you really like. She’s attractive, interesting, and you would like to get to know her better. You decide you want to write her a message, but what should you write? Well, here are some common mistakes that guys make when messaging a girl for the first time.
You decide to message the girl, but you can’t decide what to say so you play it safe and go with “Hi.” You wait a week but alas, no response. You get no reply from her because there is no substance to your message. It is extremely boring. If you’re lucky, you might get a “Hi” back. However, messages containing content other than a greeting almost never lead to the development of a solid online conversation.
2: Overly Sexual
Sure, you might think she’s hotter than the sun, but she might as well be just as far away if your message makes you sound the like neighborhood stalker. Just because you want her in bed with you doesn’t mean that you should tell her that right away. Keep in mind you’re making first contact with her through this message. She probably hasn’t even viewed your profile yet!
Corny or sexual pickup lines may work at a bar or club, where alcohol has taken its effect, but online, these lines won’t fly. Mention anything sexual in your first message and you will set off her pervert alarm.
3: Too Rude
Many of us believe that “nice guys finish last,” so we decide to play hardball and surprise her with a negative comment. While teasing her a tiny bit might be OK, it is easy to go overboard and insult her. There is a fine line between playful teasing and insults.
Knowing just how much to playfully tease someone can be difficult since each person is different. Some people take even the slightest jokes the wrong way. The difficulty is augmented by the fact that you are sending a typed message rather than telling her something in person. This means that you lose all of the nuances of human face-to-face contact. If you decide to go down the teasing route, remember that you run the risk of being misunderstood
4: Too Wordy
You find a woman who tickles your fancy, and you want her to know that you’ve read her profile and that you are interested in her. 30 minutes later, you finally send your message- all 5 paragraphs of it.
This is not your dissertation. This is a casual message that you send to someone you’re interested in. Face it, no matter who you are, the majority of your messages will not receive any replies. Don’t waste valuable time writing ultra long messages that have a good chance of falling on deaf ears.
There you have it:four common mistakes that many guys make when writing their first messages. If you avoid these mistakes, you’ll be on your way to getting great responses from women online.