Are Your Arguments Unhealthy?

We all have fights with our partners, however there is a difference between a silly spat and an unhealthy argument. It’s important to know that arguments are caused by misunderstandings and once they are sorted it’s time to let the anger go move on. Unhealthy relationships however can be very toxic to your relationship and can cause resentment. Here are some way to figure out if your arguments are verging on unhealthy and dangerous territory.
• The arguments have become about the same thing in one way or another. When neither party changes, the same argument will arise. Instead of taking the time to truly understand where your partner is coming from, you are more absorbed with how angry you are at the moment rather than fixing the issue. If you can even remotely look at the situation objectively in order to understand the root of the problem, you will not be able to fix the issue and will continue to have the same argument.
• You let your emotions take over the conversation. Frustration and anger can be hard to control but if you are letting it take over you and run the conversation, you will say things you don’t mean and can hurt your partner emotionally. Bite your tongue the next time you want to say a nasty retort in an argument. You need to think about if you really feel that way or if you are just angry. Letting your emotions take over can also cause you to deviate from your original argument and can cause you to begin talking about past issues.
• The arguments are more about you winning it than about understanding the issue or your partner. Instead of really figuring out the issue, you or your partner worry about getting your point across and winning the argument. It’s never about being right or wrong, it’s about fixing the issue. If you are too blinded with anger to see that then the fight is really pointless because you aren’t listening at all to the other party. It also causes you or your partner to become defensive.
Don’t let your relationship fall apart because you can’t communicate properly with each other. Remember that arguments are not meant to be won but are disagreements that need figuring out. Don’t let your emotions run rampant and ruin a potentially wonderful relationship with your partner. Be open and really listen to each other before you run into frequent and unhealthy arguments

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