Dealing with Rejection

We sign up and make profiles on online dating sites in hopes that we will be able to find the right person quickly. Although it is great when the person you message replies to you, what about when they don’t?

Face it; you’re not going to get a reply from every person you message. That’s just the way online dating works. Sometimes, you exchange a few messages with someone and then one day, you don’t hear from them. You send them a few more messages, hoping for a reply, but there is no response from the other end. When this occurs, it’s safe to assume that you’ve been rejected. Unless they just happen to be taking a week long hiatus from the site, chances are that they decided to talk to other people.

As upsetting as rejection may be, there can be positives to it. Often times, people are rejected because their messages weren’t engaging enough. If you’ve been exchanging messages back and forth and the other person suddenly ceases to contact you, take a look at your conversation. Were your messages interesting, or were they bland? Did you ask questions and show interest in the person, or did you just make statements about yourself? People tend to respond well to messages that ask them engaging questions. They tend to get bored if you don’t engage them or respond to their questions.

Sometimes you are rejected because you drag out the conversation for too long and the other person gets the feeling that you aren’t that interested in them. Either that or while you spent the last month messaging them, they found someone else on the site and are currently setting up dates with them. Most people on these dating sites are actively seeking out relationships. If you have a good conversation going, try and move that conversation to the phone or an instant messaging platform. Waiting too long could ruin a perfectly good chance at a date.

Even in rejection, you can learn from your mistakes if you take a look at the conversation you had with the person. If you can pinpoint where you think you went wrong, you can learn from your mistake and improve for next time. If you were able to keep the conversation going, take note of that as well. It is just as important to recognize what you are doing well. Sometimes, the fact you are rejected has nothing to do with you. If your conversation was going well and the other person just disappeared on you, there was likely nothing you could have done to prevent that. Regardless of what happens, taking a look at your past conversations is a great way to learn your strengths and weaknesses in the online dating game.