How to Get Your Partner to Listen

Sometimes you feel that talking to your partner is akin to talking to a wall. It seems he never listens to what you have to say or even worse he just tunes you. So what do you do? You know getting angry only makes things worse but you are frustrated and tired of not being heard. Here are some ways to get your partner to listen to you.
• Make sure you have the proper timing and setting. Sometimes it is necessary to wait and pick the right place and time to talk to your partner. For example, talking to your partner while he is in the middle of enjoying a basketball game or relaxing while playing a video game is not the right time. It may be the perfect time for you it doesn’t mean it’s the perfect time for him. It is best to select a time when you both have each other’s attention, for example a long car ride or even dinner.
• Talk in a calm but direct manner. If something is bothering you, tell him directly but don’t speak to him in a hostile or accusatory tone. This will make him defensive and cause him to not want to listen to what you have to say. Also it is best make sure that your statements aren’t placing blame on him. Be sure to use “I” statements rather than “you.”
• Speak about the issue at hand and don’t bring past issues up. Sometimes when we get frustrated we can bring up past issues into the argument instead of keeping the conversation on track. This can cause your partner to be less attentive and also have him expect the conversation to always be like this. If you find yourself getting too worked up and are beginning to bring up issues from the past, walk away and tell him you want to finish the conversation after taking some time to calm down.
• Be an example. Make sure that you don’t have the same behavior you hate when your partner speaks with you about an important manner. The best way to get attention to make sure you give it equally so make sure you listen to your partner when he needs to speak to you. Look up from whatever you are doing and give him what he deserves, which is your undivided attention. When he sees that you are being respectful towards his feelings, perhaps he will realize that he needs to do the same.

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