Love is a choice

Many newlyweds or couples that are in a newer relationship are in the phase of the union that is blissful, things are easy and they are in love. It is a good place to be in a relationship because things are easy. You could never imagine that your feelings would wear off or change or that you may have days when you do not really like your partner, but, unfortunately, it does happen, even to the best of couples, those couples that are very much in love. As relationships grow and mature you begin to share your life with that person. You see them at their very best, and you also see them at their very worst. You learn that like most people, the once thought to be perfect partner you were with is riddled with flaws. There are stresses on the relationship, professional stresses, emotional stressors, possibly children, finances and so much more and over time, the wear and tear of stress affects the relationship. Many couples get to a point where they do not feel any love towards their partner and this, of course, can be a daunting and frightening feeling. When people are in a relationship they need to remember that love is a choice. You will not always feel the romantic, butterflies or the intimate feelings that you have had or, that you are used to feeling. You may at times, even experience feeling distant or that you do not like this person you are with, and that is when you have to choose to love your partners. You choose to love them through the harder times, and the times when they are not so pleasant to be around. Eventually, things do get better if you choose to love your partner even when they are unlovable.

Communication in a relationship
If you ask couples the one thing they need to improve on with respect tot heir relationship, the majority of them will say something along the lines of communication. Communication is vital to the well being and survival of the relationship but unfortunately, it is the one quality that most couples struggle the most. Communication is needed to make the relationship last and without it; most relationships will not make it. Unfortunately, there are misconceptions about what is communication. Communication is more than just day-to-day talking about typical routine occurrences communication has to be effective, especially when there are important things to be discussed. Couples need to feel safe and secure when they are communicating with one another because if that is threatened, they will not be able to communicate effectively and become frustrated. When couples communicate, there can not be any hint of intimidation that would force the other party to withdrawal. The tone has to be maintained and controlled as well as expressions because even when people are not verbally communicating, there is a lot of nonverbal communication that take place. Many couples believe they are communicating because they are talking back and forth about different things, however, if nothing is being accomplished, or one party is not listening, then the communication chain has been broke. Listening is an equally important part of communication and needs to be practiced by both parties in the relationship. You have to listen intently to actually hear what your partner is saying. Do not be thinking of your response because then you are not really hearing what is being said. The only way to grow as a couple is to be in constant communication, about everything, including day-to-day small talk, and the bigger issues, like frustrations, worries, fears, and disagreements.

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