The Faux Date

Christina is so beautiful, I’ve been hitting on her for years and she’s always so sweet and forgiving. I’m thirty years old and a virgin, so maybe she feels sorry for me. We’re really good friends and I tell her all about all of my embarrassing dating fiasco’s. She’s great and gives me lots of advice and encouragement, sometimes I think she should be a relationships coach.

Anyway, last Valentines day Christina split up with her boyfriend about a week before and she was feeling really down in the dumps. I tried to be as supportive as I could and talked to her for hours on the phone. She was anxious about Valentines day because she knew she was going

to be alone and be feeling fed up. I tried to console her by reminding her that I would also be single and alone, as I always am on this awful day of the year. Suddenly Christina’s voice lit up on the phone and she suggested we go out together instead!

I had to make sure I was hearing her right and asked if she meant for us to go to dinner on a date. She said it would be a ‘faux date’. I had no idea what that meant! She explained it would just be like two friends going on a pretend date to cheer each other up. Okay… Well I wasn’t exactly going to say to no to her was I?

The day before Valentines Christina called me up and said she wasn’t feeling up to going out for dinner. I was like, really, really disappointed! Until she suggested we replicate it at her place. She was inviting me over to her place, on Valentines evening for a romantic ‘faux date’ dinner? Major confusion. Was she trying to tell me something? I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or ruin the evening by thinking it was anything more though.

On the way to her place, I was wearing a suit and tie, and I picked out a pretty bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine. I stood in the queue thinking, this is really weird. When I got to her place, it got even weirder because she had dimmed the lights and set the table, there were candles on the side and soft music was playing in the background. I was beginning to get seriously freaked out! Christina look amazing. Too amazing for a ‘faux date’.

Throughout the meal all could think of was the fact that Christina was drinking way too much wine, and that tonight I was probably going to lose my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I was just so freaked out, that by the end of the meal I really wanted to get out of there. Christina walked me to the door and the last straw was when she lifted her hand and I thought she was going to grab my balls! My instincts made me grab her by the wrist and blurt out that I couldn’t do it – I couldn’t be her rebound boy – and that I was in love with her!

Christina was horrified. She had just been reaching out for the door knob beside me. Things have never been the same between us since that evening.

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