The First Kiss

I invited Jack home with me after our fourth date because I wanted to take it to the next level. We hadn’t kissed yet and I was getting impatient. We got on great and always had a laugh on our dates. We went bowling, played pool, tried out cocktails, went for dinner. There was lots of flirting. I thought maybe he was shy or something. I’m not shy, but I don’t like to make the first move.

When we got back to mine, I made us some drinks and we sat down next to each other on the couch. This was it. I had been imagining how it was going to be all night. His lips looked so kissable! I had offered him gum on the way back just to make sure. I was ready, and he was leaning in.

I closed my eyes, expecting to feel his soft lips graze mine, instead I felt a very wide and very wet kiss that was so wide it completely missed my lips and I ended up with his saliva on my chin and just under my nose. Weird. So I wiped my face, and this time with my eyes open I opened my mouth wider to match his. It was horrible, and he must have seen it as an invitation to stick his tongue into my mouth. The whole length of it!

In the end I had to surrender and go to the bathroom and wipe my face with a towel. I was grateful that I hadn’t experienced that kiss on one of our dates, in public. It would have been so embarrassing and messy. I dumped him. A bad kisser is a deal breaker.

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