The Importance and Limits of Honesty and Openness in Online Dating

When it comes to honesty, there is really no excuse for not offering that to your potential date or, ultimately, life partner. However, being open about everything regarding life and being honest about all you’ve done, feel, or believe does have limits when it comes to dating.
If you were a bit wild in your youth and that led to some embarrassing decisions that had to be made, is that something you really want to share with somebody before they get to know the real you? For example, let’s say a woman became pregnant in high school and ended up giving her child up for adoption. If a man asks that woman whether she has any children, what should her answer be?
If she clings to the philosophy that honesty is the best policy, she can certainly let him know what happened all those years ago. The problem is when someone is trying to learn about you, trying to get to understand the real you, these major life events can cloud perception moving forward. In this example, did getting pregnant as a teenager alter her life? Did giving up her child for adoption define who she is now? If it did, then it’s probably an important revelation to share early on in the potential relationship. If it’s not, then being too open can have a detrimental and negative impact on a potential new relationship.
It is absolutely essential for people to be completely honest about certain questions when learning about somebody you just met. That doesn’t mean that you need to share every little detail about your life with this new potential partner. If he asks you pointed questions, and it’s something you do not want to answer at this time, what can you do?
The best course of action is to be as honest as you can be without revealing anything you don’t wish to share. A simple answer to something of this nature might be, “That’s a little too personal at this juncture and I would ask that you respect my decision not to answer that at this time. I am more than willing to answer as we get to know each other a little better.”
Some people, both men and women, are a little too open about things that they did in the past or beliefs that they hold. There’s a time and a place for revealing. Set your limits when it comes to being open and honest but at the same time don’t lie. A lie will almost always come back to you in the end.

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