The Serial Dater

They love the thrill of the hunt, trolling the dating websites, often times the owner of multiple profiles on multiple sites. Once they find a new person, someone who responds to their message or eagerly answers a message, they relish the rush of another chance to meet someone, anyone.

The serial dater goes out on multiple first dates per week. They agree to dates or make dating requests heedlessly, recklessly, thoughtlessly, and plunge into coffee, dinner, lunch, one after another. What are they looking for? What do they want?

The serial dater is the worst kind of date. The minute you meet them you become another notch on their dating belt. This person has real no idea why they are dating. They think they are doing it to find “the one,” or the just right person to fill a void in his/her life that cannot be filled by someone else. The serial dater has high hopes for every date, but because they don’t even know what they want, they are bound to be disappointed in you.

If you are a serial dater, stop. Just stop. Close your dating profile, take your hand off the mouse, and step away from the computer. Do not make any more dates for at least a month.

Dating is not a numbers game. It’s not a game of any kind. It is highly personal, actual feelings are involved, and it’s unconscionable to contact someone, engage with them, when you know they are not right for you. You know they can never be the right person and using them to satisfy some self-esteem issue, to provide validation that you’re attractive, smart, whatever, is wrong. You need to address your underlying emotional issues and get to a place where you can actually engage with a person as a person, not just another face, another name another hopeless attempt to make yourself feel better.

Whom ever you are trying to replace in your life; an ex spouse after a long marriage, a parent who has died, or trying to fill a void left by an empty nest, you have to deal with that issue directly. Do not use others as a distraction from it. Once you have put to rest whatever emotional problems are driving you to relentlessly look for the next date, and you have a clear idea of what you are looking for in a relationship, then you can re-activate that dating account.

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