Some people might not know this, but I am personally against men buying women drinks. Let me preface this article to say that a man should absolutely buy a drink for a woman in the scenario that he got the drink for free or if the woman initiated the transaction, but if it is ever up for debate, a man should never buy a woman a drink. Here are my five main reasons why:

1.It’s rude.

If you’re on a date with a woman and want to buy her a drink, that’s fine. But if you’re going to buy one for yourself, don’t assume that she wants one too. You might be surprised to find out how many people assume that everybody wants a drink. It’s the polite thing to do to ask first.

2. It’s forward.

Even if you have the best intentions in the world, this is a pretty bold move. If she accepts your drink, she may feel obligated to talk to you or spend time with you that she doesn’t want to. If she declines your offer, she may feel pressured and embarrassed — which is probably not what you’re aiming for. She may also feel like you’re trying to buy her affection, which is weird and uncomfortable at best and kind of creepy at worst.

3.It’s too much of an upfront investment.

Buying someone a drink is nice, but it puts too much pressure on the other person. If you want to make new friends, try buying them food instead (and keep your hands free for handshakes). Food is less likely to be interpreted as a sexual or romantic advance than drinks are.

4. She likely assumes it’s because you want sex.

When you buy a woman a drink, she might assume that you’re just trying to get her drunk enough to have sex with her. That’s not the best way to create mutual attraction and interest.

5.You have no idea what she actually wants to drink.

Even if this girl knows how to order a drink for herself, chances are that there are some things that she likes more than others. If you buy her something that she doesn’t like, it could be awkward for both of you — and might even ruin your chances for romance later on down the line. Instead of buying her a drink right off the bat, try ordering something for yourself and then asking her what she likes

6.It’s expensive.

If you’re going to meet up with friends at a bar, go ahead and spend money there — but don’t put yourself in the position of having to pay for others’ drinks. The average cocktail costs $12 — if someone offers them one, they will feel obliged to buy one back.

7.The bar is probably loud and not conducive for having a conversation with someone you just met.

There are clubs where people dance and bars where people drink and chat. A crowded bar with music playing might be the wrong place to try your luck, even if there are plenty of available seats.

8.You can’t tell if she’s interested in you.

If you have to buy her a drink to get her attention, chances are she’s not interested in you at all. This is particularly true if she’s at the bar with friends, because they’re likely to intercept your approach before you ever get close enough to actually talk to her.

9.She’ll feel obligated to stay and talk to you.

If you don’t buy someone a drink at the bar, they can always leave if they don’t want to talk to you anymore. But if you buy them a drink, they’ll feel compelled to stay and talk until it’s finished — and then order another one!

Takeaway: Buy a woman a drink is because she seems too preoccupied with something else to place or pick up an order.