As a man in many relationships, I’m sure many of you deal with the issue of being financially inferior to the women in your life. It’s always a chore finding a way to deal with this situation and honestly it can be quite complicated. So today I’m gonna make it much simpler for you and tell you exactly how to deal with your girlfriend making more money than I do.
1.Don’t joke about it.
Your girlfriend makes more money than you. I have some news for you: That’s totally okay, and in fact, it happens to more couples than you think.
Don’t make a joke about how she makes more money than you, or how that makes you feel like less of a man. Instead, talk to her about how much money she makes — it’s not something that should be embarrassing or shameful.
If you’re worried about the money situation, talk to her about it — but don’t accuse her of making too much money. It’s important to be respectful of your partner’s career and accomplishments, even if they seem bigger than yours.
2.Don’t question her career decisions.
Women are often encouraged to make educational and career decisions based on their personal interests, abilities, and goals. They are not often encouraged to consider what kind of careers might make them more appealing to a potential partner.
The fact that many women choose not to make lucrative career decisions is a significant factor in the gender pay gap. So if you’re questioning your girlfriend’s career decisions, you’re also asking her to bear the costs of the gender pay gap on your behalf. That’s not very nice of you.
3.Don’t feel sorry for yourself.
You’re going to have to deal with some pretty emotional issues when your girlfriend makes more than you do. You’ll start wondering if she’s just dating you because your earning potential will increase over time (if you’re not already at that point). You’ll even wonder if she believes that because she earns more, she deserves better than what she has.
In other words, your self-esteem is likely to take a hit — and figuring out how to restore it is crucial if the relationship is going to work out.
4.Don’t think you’re responsible for her happiness or financial well-being.
If you’re putting in the effort at work and doing your best to advance your career, then there’s nothing for you to feel guilty about. People don’t always progress in straight lines, and there are a lot of factors beyond your control that can impact your career trajectory. Be patient with yourself. You’ll get there when the time is right.
Don’t take on responsibility for your girlfriend’s financial well-being or happiness. You’re not responsible for either one and you shouldn’t try to be. If she’s looking for someone else to take care of her financially or emotionally, then you’ll probably want to move on anyway
5. Don’t freak out the first time she offers to pay for something.
If you’re used to paying for everything yourself and she offers to pick up the check at dinner, just smile and say “thank you.” You don’t have to take her up on every offer, but if she feels like she can’t make an offer without fear of rejection or judgment, that could be a problem.
Don’t get defensive if she makes suggestions about how you spend your money. She might make more than you
6.Do figure out how much of your monthly expenses you’re comfortable shouldering, and stick to that number, no matter what.
So if you can only afford to pay $500 a month toward rent and bills — which is one-half of $1,000 a month — then that’s what you need to pay. If it turns out that your girlfriend can pick up the rest with no problem, great! If not, the two of you will need to make some changes in order to live within your means.
7.Do talk about money openly, early and often
A lot of couples put off talking about finances until they have to — like when they’re house hunting or getting married or something big like that. People don’t want to talk about money because they think it will seem rude or disrespectful or something else will go wrong.
Unfortunately, avoiding the topic only makes things worse because one of you will end up feeling bad about something (like not being able to do something fun together) and then blaming the other person.
8.Do understand that a lack of financial resources can be hard on a relationship — but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed if you’re not making as much as your partner.
Don’t assume she’ll want to pay for everything. Just because she has more money than you don’t make her solely responsible for paying for your expenses. If you’re in a committed relationship, then both of you should contribute financially.
Don’t let it affect your sex life. If she makes more money than you, it’s probably not a good idea to joke around about “paying” her for sex or other services. She might find this offensive and it’s likely to create tension in the relationship.
Do appreciate what she does for the relationship financially, even if she makes more money than you do. Maybe she pays for all the household bills or maybe
9.Do get used to the fact that she’s going to make more money than you do.
Don’t get defensive. The second she starts making more money than you is the second you have to check your ego at the door. Don’t say things like: “I wouldn’t care if we were reverse-sitting this situation.” You will care — a lot — and it will only cause problems in your relationship
Do be supportive of her work success. If your girlfriend begins making more money than you do, don’t be jealous or resentful toward her. She’ll pick up on that, and it will lead to tension in other areas of your relationship outside of finances
Don’t try to prove that she can’t live without your salary (if there is one). Remember, this isn’t about winning or losing — this is about working together
Takeaway: A lot of these tips are things you should do or not do in any intimate relationship, whether there is a money difference or not