Have you ever been in a meaningful relationship? If you have, then you already know what it is like to “say I love you” for the first time. This can be a very big deal, and some people are more nervous about it than others. If you are one of these people, then learning how to say “I love you” for the first time may help take some of the pressure off of this moment. You don’t need to go all out here, but it is important that you say it and make your partner feel special because they should feel this way. There are a few things to keep in mind as well when saying I love you for the first time.
1.Find the right moment.
There’s no right time to say “I love you,” but there are definitely some wrong times. Don’t say it when you’re drunk — that probably won’t go over well, and you might not remember it in the morning. Don’t say it after sex. Don’t say it when you’re upset just to hurt the other person. And don’t say it if you don’t mean it.
Instead, wait for the right moment, when things feel natural and calm. The ideal moment is one in which both of you can focus on each other and nothing else at all. If this is a first love, that means planning time alone together with no distractions — no friends, no family and no TV. Simply look into each other’s eyes and speak from your heart.
2.Choose the right place.
You want to choose a time when you’re both alone and don’t have any distractions or interruptions. Avoid making this declaration in front of friends, family, coworkers, or pets. Those people or animals might be important to you and your partner, but they shouldn’t be part of this intimate moment.[1]
You also don’t want to declare your love in front of other people because it might put pressure on your partner to say it back before they’re ready. If you say “I love you” first and they’re not ready to say it yet, there’s a good chance that you may feel embarrassed and regretful about saying it too soon.[2]
Consider how long you’ve been together. Take your relationship into consideration when deciding when to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you love them.
3.Do it in person if you can.
It’s ideal for both of you to be in the same place when those three little words are said, but if distance separates you, then a phone call is best. A text message or email is fine if that’s your only option, but do your best to make this an in-person conversation.
4.Gauge their response.
If you feel ready to say “I love you” to someone, but aren’t sure if they feel the same way, try gauging their response. If they say something like “I love you too,” or they smile and look happy, then that’s a good sign that they return your feelings. But if they say something like “I don’t know what to say,” or they avoid eye contact and seem uncomfortable, then that’s a sign that they don’t feel the same way.
5.Take it slow and make sure your partner wants to say it back — or is ready to hear it in person.
If you’re not sure about their feelings, try asking them how they feel about you. You can even take the pressure off by using other phrases like “I’m falling for you,” so they know where you stand but won’t feel pressured to respond in kind.
6.Make it personal.
You can’t just say “I love you” without expressing what exactly you love about them. Say something specific and make an effort to show them what they mean to you by incorporating some of their interests into the declaration. For example, if they love music, find a meaningful song that expresses what’s in your heart and play it for them. Or, if they’re more comfortable with physical gestures, tell them you love them while giving them a hug, kiss or other display of affection.
7.Give them a gift.
Gifts are always a great option for any occasion, but especially perfect for declaring your love. You don’t have to write “I love you” all over the card or gift; simply giving them something special is enough.
Write them a letter or poem. A handwritten letter is one of the easiest ways to say “I love you.” In addition, writing a romantic poem or song can also make your declaration of love more memorable and special.
8.Tell them in front of friends and family if you can.
This shows that you are both comfortable with each other and happy to share this moment with people who are important to you both.
Takeaway: Saying “I love you” for the first time can be intimidating, but with practice, it’s easy to say and make your relationship even better!