We’ve all been there. That moment we finally get our match’s phone number and the “talking” (or texting for the modern era) stage of the relationship begins. If you’ve just entered this part of the relationship and are completely lost on what to do next, don’t worry— you are not alone!
Sometimes it can be confusing to keep the momentum going transferring the conversation from online dating app to the exchange of phone numbers. You’ve definitely hit an important milestone for the dating realm when she trusts you enough to give you her personal contact.
With that being said, how do you keep her interest? How do you not scare her away? Do you keep the same dialogue going over in the texting realm? Whether this is the first time you’re starting a conversation with your match or you’re trying to gain the confidence to keep things headed in the right direction after you’ve already started texting— those are all questions that we’re going to answer in this article to help you keep the flame alive way past the moment of your initial match.
Don’t wait too long
This one is important. If you two have been hitting it off on the dating app, then there is no reason to keep your match waiting after the initial agreement to exchange numbers.
In fact, the longer you wait to start that first conversation through text, the likelihood they will lose interest. Furthermore, it is not wise to maintain sporadic communication with her either. So if you’re texting every few days, she’ll begin to question whether you’re really interested in her.
Keep it brief and casual
Now is not the time to pour your heart out. Sure you’ve reached a new level, but that doesn’t mean that you’re at that level of the relationship where chapter book text messages are acceptable. Try to keep texts brief and casual, but not so brief that all you’re saying is, “Hi!”
You might decide to start the conversation like this:
- “Mic check, mic check. One, two, one two. Glad to see we’re both enjoying each other’s company so far. How are you doing today? :-)” —- No better way to break the ice than with a lighthearted joke leading into small talk.
- “Hey! On a scale from 1-10, how does it feel to slide out of each other’s DMs and into actual texts?” —- There’s no shame in celebrating the fact that this is kind of a big deal to take communication off the online dating platform!
Read the room
If the two of you have really hit it off in the chat feature of the online dating app, then it might be a seamless transition to go from messaging on the app to texting. However, that is not always the case. Sometimes both parties make a snap decision to communicate outside of the online dating platform before they’ve reached that level of comfort and confidence.
Therefore, it is important to read the room. Think about the conversations that the two of you have had on the dating app and tailor your texts to fit that dynamic.
Once the conversation starts to become really stagnant, take that as a cue and say your goodbyes for the time being. Give it some time before you send another text. By waiting a couple days, you’ll both have at least enough material to fall back on as far as what you did between the time you two last spoke.
Don’t flood her text messages
If you send a text to your match and they don’t respond right away, chances are they are busy. Don’t make the assumption that you’ve been automatically ghosted after barely exchanging numbers. It’s best not to continue bombarding her with text messages. Give your match ample time to get back to you.
Sending a series of texts comes off as desperate and can quickly change the status of her interest in you.
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Get to know each other
If you two have already had one conversation through text and you’re looking for ways to get things rolling the next day you want to send a text, we’ve got a few tips for conversation starters.
- “Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening! I just sat down for breakfast/lunch/dinner. I could eat (insert favorite meal) day in and day out. What’s your favorite (insert mealtime)?” —- This is a great way to let them know you’re thinking about them during a random time of the day, revealing something about yourself while inquiring about their interests as well.
- “If you had to describe the way your day is going by the last 3 emojis you used, what would those be? I’ll go first (insert 3 emojis)” —- This is better used later in the day, because it wouldn’t make sense to send this first thing in the morning. It’s also a unique way of asking about how her day went and warrants a funny explanation from both parties for some potentially questionable emojis.
- Share a video. This could be funny, informational, music related, or something you remember her saying that she’s interested in. Tell her, “This video reminded me of you. You should check it out.” —- Media is a great talking point that can be shared at all times of the day.
One of the most important, yet basic tips for starting a conversation with a woman is to keep most of the talking points about her. Most people find it hard to resist the temptation to answer questions about themselves. You can find ways to insert your own interests and likes as you both discover more about your compatibility. Usually, it is the initial leap to start the conversation that trips most men up because they don’t want to say something offensive and ruin their otherwise good chances of making things official with their match. However, starting a conversation with your potential date becomes natural and effortless once the relationship blossoms.
Are you hearing crickets and not sure if you’ll even make it to this stage in the online dating realm? No worries, our dating profile writers can help assess the damage and give expert advice on what you need to do to tweak your profile. We can dive in and give a comprehensive breakdown of what is working and what needs to go in order to get you the right matches for your dating preference so that all you have to worry about are applying the principles of this article to your future match.