So, you’re dating someone and things are going well. You’re not tired of each other, you’re enjoying each other’s company, and fun things keep happening. Life is great — BUT. There’s always a but. The problem with toxic relationships is that it’s hard to tell if you’re in any until you’ve hit rock bottom. I know this sounds terrible (we’ve all been there), but it’s the truth. Toxic relationships don’t often show up on the surface because they start out kind of sweet and fuzzy, but then turn sour when you get closer to its core. You might notice some warning signs that it’s a toxic relationship, or you might be already in one yourself — regardless, if you want to know how to tell if you’re in a toxic relationship — read on.
1.They avoid difficult conversations.
You should never feel afraid to talk about anything with your partner — it’s part of what makes your relationship work. Avoiding tough conversations might seem like an easy fix now, but it causes bigger problems down the line like resentment and distance between both people in the relationship. No matter how uncomfortable something may be at first, if you want your relationship to succeed, you have
2.They make you feel bad about yourself.
f you’re always second-guessing or doubting yourself, your partner is making you feel insecure. A healthy relationship is one in which both people have a sense of self-worth and don’t rely on others for validation.
They blame everything on you. Partners who refuse to take responsibility for their actions and throw the blame on you instead are emotionally abusive. They may also claim that everything is your fault and tell you it’s all in your head or use gaslighting to make you question reality.
3.They ask too much from you.
No one should ever ask you to sacrifice your family, friends, dreams or career goals in order to be in a relationship with them. If they do, they’re manipulating you into giving up the things that are important to you so that they can control your life more easily.
You feel drained after spending time together. Relationships should lift you up mentally, physically and emotionally — not drain you by bringing out the worst in you. If every conversation seems like an argument or a competition of wills, it’s not a relationship worth keeping up with.
They bring out the worst in you. If this person makes you act in ways that don’t align with who you are as a person, that
4.They’re not happy when you’re happy.
Are they happy when you’re happy? A good partner should be happy for your successes — not jealous that they aren’t getting as much attention as they used to. But if they’re upset every time something good happens to you, that can show that they’re insecure and controlling.
5.They treat you differently in public than they do behind closed doors.
Do they act differently around others? If your partner acts like a saint around their friends and family but turns into a monster when it’s just the two of you, that’s a red flag.
6.They don’t care about your feelings and they want it their way or the highway all the time.
They often make plans without consulting you. While it’s nice to have freedom, when your partner makes plans without asking you or including you, it can feel like they don’t consider your feelings or schedule.
They tell you what to do. This goes beyond occasional advice. When your partner tries to control every aspect of your life, then it’s not really a relationship anymore — it’s an ownership situation.
Takeaway: It is important to recognize signs of a toxic relationship so that you can take action to either repair the relationship or leave it altogether for your sake and for the sake of others involved, who may be caught in a cycle of toxicity as well.