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15 Reasons Why Smart Women Fail At Relationships

It’s unfortunate to say, but most “smart” women are pretty clueless about relationships. This is not because they lack relationship skills and confidence, but because insecurities tend to get the best of them. In fact I would go as far as saying that the smarter a woman is, the more her insecurities and need for approval get the best of her, and this is when she fails at relationships.

1.Smart women are used to being in control of their lives.

They tend to know what they want and ask for it. This is fine with guys who are used to dating assertive women, but many men feel emasculated by a woman who is more aggressive than they are. The result is often conflict and tension, even if the assertive woman feels like she’s just being herself.

They’re problem-solvers, they take charge, and they’re used to being the one calling the shots in all areas of their lives. But when it comes to relationships and love, smart women can sabotage themselves.

2.Thinking He Must Want Something Serious If He Likes You

If you’ve been hurt before, you probably assume that every guy is out to hurt you too. That means you might assume that if a guy likes you, he must want something serious. But this isn’t always true — especially if he’s younger or just isn’t ready for a relationship right now.

Smart women hear “I really like you” as “I want to marry you.” The truth is that most guys aren’t going to say what they really mean because they’re not sure themselve

3.They Think That Just Because They Want It, He Wants It Too

They Want It, He Wants It Too. Smart women are often so focused on getting the perfect relationship that they don’t consider what their partner is looking for. If you want marriage and your partner wants an open relationship, you’re doomed.

4.They Think They Know Why He Left You (or Didn’t Commit).

This is a classic case of smart women overthinking their breakups — or lack thereof — and jumping to conclusions about why things didn’t work out. For example, my friend thought her boyfriend broke up with her because he was intimidated by her success, but in reality he was cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend.

5. They Think It’s All About Them

This is an extension of the first point — smart women are so focused on how they feel that they don’t really listen to how their partner feels.

Section: Because they’re so highly analytical, smart women often think too much.

Because they’re so thoughtful, they tend to be too serious about everything in the relationship. They have a hard time doing nothing or just relaxing and enjoying the moment. They don’t know how to just be.

6.It’s not just that smart women tend to think too much; they also think about the wrong things.

We go for men who make us feel good about ourselves, but we don’t give enough weight to the ones who actually make us feel bad on a regular basis. We think a man who makes us feel bad is better than a man who makes us feel nothing at all. Really, though? Is that how you want to spend your one wild and precious life?

7.Smart women tend to overanalyze relationships and pick apart their partner’s actions and words.

Smart women also have a tendency of being overly inquisitive when it comes to love and relationships. This can be off-putting for men who don’t want to be bombarded with questions all day long because they feel as though it makes them question themselves too much and prevents them from being able to relax around their girlfriend or wife.

8.They talk themselves out of acting on attraction.

When a woman sees an attractive man, she may think he’s not as intelligent as she is, so he’s not worth her time. She may reason that if he’s really smart, he’ll be attracted to her intelligence and come over and start a conversation. But if that were true, she’d never get asked out!

9.They go into dates expecting the worst.

Many smart women have had negative experiences with men who were intimidated by their brains or didn’t want them to be smarter than they are. This causes them to approach new potential partners with distrust and suspicion — even if there’s no real reason to feel this way about someone new.

10.They’re overly picky when it comes to what they want in a partner.

Smart women have goals and ideals around every aspect of their lives — including relationships.

11. Smart women tend to judge others while giving themselves a free pass.

hey expect their partners to be amazing, but they don’t extend the same courtesy. You can’t get what you want unless you’re willing to give it. If you want an amazing relationship with a man, you need to become an amazing woman – someone who is confident and happy in her own skin.

12. They Don’t Know How To Recognize Red Flags

They don’t see the subtle signs when a man is giving them clues that he’s not in it for the long term. They get all excited about finally meeting “the one,” even though they haven’t even spent a year together, and then they move in with him or marry him only to find out later that he had absolutely no intention of spending his life with her.

13.They don’t make their partner a priority.

Smart women often confuse putting their partner first with being a doormat. There is a difference between leaning on someone you love and letting them walk all over you. The smart woman keeps her independence, but let’s her man know that he comes first by deed, not words.

14.They are too self-sufficient.

Being able to take care of yourself is an admirable quality. However, if you make men feel like they aren’t needed, they will move on to someone who makes them feel useful and necessary. They forget that men need to feel important. It doesn’t mean that they have to be your white knight; it just means that they need to feel like they have something to offer.

15.They’re too competitive.

Competing with your man is never a good idea because every relationship needs a leader and a follower. If you don’t step back and allow him to lead, he won’t be happy in the relationship and will eventually look for someone who allows him to take charge.

We’re not saying that smart women have a tougher time in relationships than average. We’re saying that smart women often have a different approach to relationships, that they tend towards certain toxic relationship habits, and they resist certain relationship solutions. So while they might not fail at relationships moreso than anyone else, there are specific ways in which they are more likely to fail. And it’s not just women – many men share these characteristics, so use this list as a tool regardless of gender.

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15 Reasons Why Smart Women Fail At Relationships

It’s unfortunate to say, but most “smart” women are pretty clueless about relationships. This is not because they lack relationship skills and confidence, but because insecurities tend to get the best of them. In fact I would go as far as saying that the smarter a woman is, the more her insecurities and need for approval get the best of her, and this is when she fails at relationships.

1.Smart women are used to being in control of their lives.

They tend to know what they want and ask for it. This is fine with guys who are used to dating assertive women, but many men feel emasculated by a woman who is more aggressive than they are. The result is often conflict and tension, even if the assertive woman feels like she’s just being herself.

They’re problem-solvers, they take charge, and they’re used to being the one calling the shots in all areas of their lives. But when it comes to relationships and love, smart women can sabotage themselves.

2.Thinking He Must Want Something Serious If He Likes You

If you’ve been hurt before, you probably assume that every guy is out to hurt you too. That means you might assume that if a guy likes you, he must want something serious. But this isn’t always true — especially if he’s younger or just isn’t ready for a relationship right now.

Smart women hear “I really like you” as “I want to marry you.” The truth is that most guys aren’t going to say what they really mean because they’re not sure themselve

3.They Think That Just Because They Want It, He Wants It Too

They Want It, He Wants It Too. Smart women are often so focused on getting the perfect relationship that they don’t consider what their partner is looking for. If you want marriage and your partner wants an open relationship, you’re doomed.

4.They Think They Know Why He Left You (or Didn’t Commit).

This is a classic case of smart women overthinking their breakups — or lack thereof — and jumping to conclusions about why things didn’t work out. For example, my friend thought her boyfriend broke up with her because he was intimidated by her success, but in reality he was cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend.

5. They Think It’s All About Them

This is an extension of the first point — smart women are so focused on how they feel that they don’t really listen to how their partner feels.

Section: Because they’re so highly analytical, smart women often think too much.

Because they’re so thoughtful, they tend to be too serious about everything in the relationship. They have a hard time doing nothing or just relaxing and enjoying the moment. They don’t know how to just be.

6.It’s not just that smart women tend to think too much; they also think about the wrong things.

We go for men who make us feel good about ourselves, but we don’t give enough weight to the ones who actually make us feel bad on a regular basis. We think a man who makes us feel bad is better than a man who makes us feel nothing at all. Really, though? Is that how you want to spend your one wild and precious life?

7.Smart women tend to overanalyze relationships and pick apart their partner’s actions and words.

Smart women also have a tendency of being overly inquisitive when it comes to love and relationships. This can be off-putting for men who don’t want to be bombarded with questions all day long because they feel as though it makes them question themselves too much and prevents them from being able to relax around their girlfriend or wife.

8.They talk themselves out of acting on attraction.

When a woman sees an attractive man, she may think he’s not as intelligent as she is, so he’s not worth her time. She may reason that if he’s really smart, he’ll be attracted to her intelligence and come over and start a conversation. But if that were true, she’d never get asked out!

9.They go into dates expecting the worst.

Many smart women have had negative experiences with men who were intimidated by their brains or didn’t want them to be smarter than they are. This causes them to approach new potential partners with distrust and suspicion — even if there’s no real reason to feel this way about someone new.

10.They’re overly picky when it comes to what they want in a partner.

Smart women have goals and ideals around every aspect of their lives — including relationships.

11. Smart women tend to judge others while giving themselves a free pass.

hey expect their partners to be amazing, but they don’t extend the same courtesy. You can’t get what you want unless you’re willing to give it. If you want an amazing relationship with a man, you need to become an amazing woman – someone who is confident and happy in her own skin.

12. They Don’t Know How To Recognize Red Flags

They don’t see the subtle signs when a man is giving them clues that he’s not in it for the long term. They get all excited about finally meeting “the one,” even though they haven’t even spent a year together, and then they move in with him or marry him only to find out later that he had absolutely no intention of spending his life with her.

13.They don’t make their partner a priority.

Smart women often confuse putting their partner first with being a doormat. There is a difference between leaning on someone you love and letting them walk all over you. The smart woman keeps her independence, but let’s her man know that he comes first by deed, not words.

14.They are too self-sufficient.

Being able to take care of yourself is an admirable quality. However, if you make men feel like they aren’t needed, they will move on to someone who makes them feel useful and necessary. They forget that men need to feel important. It doesn’t mean that they have to be your white knight; it just means that they need to feel like they have something to offer.

15.They’re too competitive.

Competing with your man is never a good idea because every relationship needs a leader and a follower. If you don’t step back and allow him to lead, he won’t be happy in the relationship and will eventually look for someone who allows him to take charge.

We’re not saying that smart women have a tougher time in relationships than average. We’re saying that smart women often have a different approach to relationships, that they tend towards certain toxic relationship habits, and they resist certain relationship solutions. So while they might not fail at relationships moreso than anyone else, there are specific ways in which they are more likely to fail. And it’s not just women – many men share these characteristics, so use this list as a tool regardless of gender.

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