People often wonder whether there are any strategies to follow when approaching women at the bar. Luckily (or unluckily) I have a lot of experience with this and I want to share it with you outline our mistakes, ways to avoid them and the lessons we learned.
1.Interrupting her.
The quickest way to get a girl to roll her eyes at you is by interrupting her while she’s talking to her friends. That’s like stepping into someone’s house uninvited and demanding they make you a sandwich.
2.Not engaging her friends.
A common mistake men make when approaching a woman is forgetting to engage her friends. You must realize that when a man approaches a girl at night, whether it be at the bar or club, she will almost always be out with friends. In fact, if you approach her and she is alone, then there is a good chance she is not the social type (we will talk more about this later).
3.Touching her without asking first
If you’ve never met her before, that’s sexual harassment. If she’s not into it, then she’ll never tell you why. She’ll just tell her friends what a pervert you were, and they’ll tell their friends, and pretty soon nobody will want to talk to you. The only exception is if she slaps you across the face and doesn’t say anything. In that case, I would probably just walk away.
4.Expecting her to do all the work
If you want to attract a woman, you have to do more than just stand there and wait for her to come up and talk to you. You have to take some initiative. It’s not that hard — just introduce yourself, or say something about the bar or your drink or whatever it is she’s doing.
She won’t have a clue what you want from her if you don’t actually tell her. Give her a compliment, tell her how beautiful she looks, ask how her day is going, ask if she wants to dance. Do more than just stand there waiting for her to notice you.
5.You don’t use your manners.
Walking up to a woman, interrupting her and her friends mid-conversation, and just blurting out whatever pops in to your head is not going to get you a drink thrown in your face – it’s going to get you a drink thrown in your face and then get you kicked out of the bar. When you approach a woman, interrupt her conversation as little as possible – say “hi,” ask if you can talk for a minute, wait for an affirmative response, and then start talking.
6.Your approach is too direct or too indirect.
There’s nothing wrong with being direct when you meet someone new at a bar; it’s not like you’re going to run into this person again later in life and regret that time you walked up and introduced yourself. The problem is when your approach is too direct; lines like “Wow, I just had to come over here because I think you’re really beautiful” are cringe-worthy because they put the focus on you (a stranger) instead of on her (the person whose attention you’re trying to get). The same goes for opening with an impersonal compliment that isn’t earned (“nice shoes”) or an awkward opener (“Your friend told me
7.You spam her with compliments.
It’s not that she doesn’t want to hear that she’s beautiful — she does. But she wants to be recognized for more than just her looks. So if you’re going to compliment her, make sure it’s something about her personality or style, and not just the way she looks.
8.You keep going even when she’s clearly not interested.
The right approach is to be friendly and playful, but back off immediately if she doesn’t respond well. And there are many other women who would love to get to know you.
9.You get too personal, too quick.
This mistake can be a major buzzkill for women, especially if you start by asking us about our current relationship status.
If you’re just looking to get laid, then this probably won’t do much damage to your cause. But if you’re seeking an actual relationship, you may want to avoid questioning us about our exes or getting into the nitty-gritty of our own past relationships.
The thing is, even if we are single, most of us aren’t going to respond well if you ask us right away what we think about a potential future with someone we’ve just met at the bar.
Sure, there are people out there who go to bars just to pick up potential dates and they don’t mind answering those kinds of questions right away. But most people are more guarded in their approach and they prefer getting to know someone before they open up too much.
If you want a real connection with someone, then it’s best to ease into any talk about commitment or romance because those things are intimidating enough as it is — especially when the person you’re talking to is giving off really strong vibes that they’re
10.You’re overly aggressive.
Women don’t like being hit on by guys who are so in their face that they invade their personal space. It can be a frightening experience for them and it sends the signals that you’re an aggressive person who will likely cause them problems down the road.
11.You’re creepy.
There is no bigger attraction killer than coming across as creepy, and if you’re giving off this vibe, then it’s not going to matter how hot you look. Women don’t want to talk to someone who makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
12.You’re drunk.
If you approach a woman while drunk, she’ll assume that you can’t handle your liquor and will automatically think less of you. She might be polite in the moment, but chances are, she’s going to forget about you the next day, or worse — remember how uncomfortable you made her feel and tell her friends about it.
13. Your opening line, as a whole, is cringeworthy.
This might not seem like a bad idea, but it won’t do you any favors in the long run. It’s hard to respect a guy who uses cheesy chat up lines, and it’s even harder for them to respect themselves if they’re using them!
Takeaway: Be careful about how you approach women at the bar so you can have a better chance of not being rejected.