Even if you did everything right, your relationship can still be toxic. A lot of people give advice about what to do for a healthy relationship and it usually goes like this: This, this, and this are good. That, that and that are bad. But what happens when your partner isn’t the best? How do you fix your relationship?
1.You don’t feel like yourself.
When you’re with them, you’re constantly walking on eggshells and second-guessing everything you say or do. You’re always worried about how they’ll react and if they’ll be happy with what you do. Your sense of self has been compromised and that’s not okay!
2. You dread family time.
Family time should be fun — but it also should be filled with love, not fear. If you dread seeing your partner’s family, whether it’s because of the way they behave or the way your significant other behaves around them, this could signal that something is wrong.
3. You feel like your partner doesn’t support you.
There are times when partners have differing opinions, but if it seems like whenever you bring up an idea or goal that interests you, your partner automatically says something negative about it, there’s a problem.
For example, maybe you wanted to go back to school and get a different degree so that you could change careers. Your partner might not agree that it was the best idea for the two of you financially, but if they said things like “You’ll never be able to find a job,” or “What employer would hire you?
4. You’ve started withdrawing from other people.
If a toxic relationship causes you to distance yourself from your friends and family, it’s a problem. You may even lose interest in things you once enjoyed. That’s not a healthy pattern, and it could be the result of emotional abuse.
5. You feel like your needs are always put last.
In a healthy relationship, both partners’ needs should be met almost equally. A healthy relationship means compromise, which is something neither party should have trouble with if things are going well. Both partners should be able to express their feelings directly without being afraid of hurting one another’s feelings. If this isn’t the case and one partner consistently seems to win out over the other, that’s a bad sign
6. You’re always unhappy.
Let’s be clear: Every relationship has its ups and downs. That’s totally normal. But if you find that your happiness depends on someone else — whether they’re making you laugh or they pick up your prescription from the pharmacy — then it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
7. You’ve stopped making decisions for yourself.
This can be a subtle one to notice, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by those around you. If you’re always deferring to what your partner wants, then it may be time to reevaluate how much agency you still have in the relationship.
8. They don’t show you respect in any aspect of your life or relationship with them.
They dismiss your feelings, thoughts and opinions. They try to control you and make all decisions for you. They make fun of, insult or criticize you in front of others. They use anger, blame, shame and/or guilt to get what they want or to make you do what they want.
9. They don’t respect your boundaries
Respecting your boundaries means respecting what makes you comfortable in all aspects of your life and relationship with them. If they don’t respect that you don’t want to do something or go somewhere, they aren’t respecting your boundaries.
10. Your partner doesn’t respect your right to privacy.
This includes snooping through your messages and social media accounts without permission. If they don’t respect those boundaries, they may not respect other boundaries in the relationship either.
11. Making your decisions for you
If your partner wants to make all of your decisions for you, that’s a sign that there’s a problem.
That includes everything from decisions about what you’re going to do on Saturday night to what kind of job you’re going to have when you grow up (or even if you’ll go to college).
12. Isolating you from friends and family
A good relationship doesn’t have to be the center of someone’s life — and it can’t be if the person is in an unhealthy relationship. A healthy relationship is just a part of someone’s life, and there are plenty of other important parts as well: friends, family and work come immediately to mind.
13. You’re always wrong.
If you’re constantly being told you’re wrong and made to feel like an idiot, you’re in a destructive relationship. In healthy relationships, both people feel comfortable expressing themselves and don’t need to be afraid of what their partners are going to say or how they will react. They trust each other and respect each other’s opinions as well as their right to have them. In unhealthy relationships, one person usually feels superior and the other is inferior.
If you think you and your significant other could benefit from a little extra alone time, brushing up on our top 13 signs that your relationship might be toxic may help both of you realize it. Often it takes a crowbar to get people to open their eyes and see what’s right in front of them.