You’re with someone new, you love them and they don’t know it yet. You’re so happy, everything is perfect… then they go and break your heart by breaking up with you. And then, the obsession begins. You think about them constantly and can’t help but question why they would leave you.

It may be hard to let go of a relationship, but there are ways that can help you move on faster than you could possibly imagine. Here are five smart tips for handling a breakup that will help you heal more quickly and get back to your life more successfully than ever before.

Why obsessing over your ex is bad for you
It’s not unusual to obsess over the person you’re in love with, but if you’re fixated on your ex for too long, it can have lasting negative effects on your mental and physical health.

In some cases, obsessing over your ex may compromise your personal relationships. The longer you stay with a person who is no longer interested in you, the more they’ll take advantage of your neediness and act like they don’t care about what happens to you. The same goes for those who obsessively reach out to their exes. If someone doesn’t want to be contacted by you, then there’s no point in trying to reach them. You would be better off focusing on yourself and getting healthy rather than putting all of your energy into an unhealthy relationship.

Do you have a reason to obsess?
Although most people go through a breakup, it can be hard to move on. Sometimes those feelings of anxiety and hopelessness can be overwhelming, but if you’re obsessing over something that went wrong in your relationship, it’s time to stop.

Before you start obsessing over your ex, make sure you have a reason for doing so. If there is no legitimate reason for obsessing, then find a way to distract yourself from the thoughts.

If you have a good reason for obsessing, like wondering where they are or wondering if they really loved you as much as you thought they did, take steps to diminish these negative thoughts and focus on the positive memories with them instead. You may also want to seek professional help for these symptoms of obsessive thinking when you don’t feel comfortable handling them by yourself.

How do you cope with obsessing?
When you obsess over the people who hurt you, it can really take a toll. You may be constantly thinking about what they could have said or done to make them stay and wondering if there’s anything you did that made them leave in the first place. It can be hard to keep your mind off of these thoughts when all you want is for someone to love you once more.

There are many ways that help cope with obsessing, including getting some fresh air, keeping busy, and talking to friends and family members who can offer support during difficult times. There are also many addictions that can help ease the pain of obsessing over someone. Drugs, alcohol, gambling–it’s up to you which method works best for you.

5 Smart Tips To Help You Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex
1. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries with someone you’re still emotionally invested in is one of the best ways to stop obsessing over them. You have to really work at it, but this is a great way for you to start moving on from your ex. It’s important that you maintain your life and don’t let the person you’re still in love with control everything.

2. Take breaks

Sometimes, taking a break can be one of the best things that you can do when trying to get over someone. It’s important that you give yourself time away from thinking about your ex and not constantly wondering what they are doing. There are many opportunities for people who are trying to move on from an ex: join a new sports team, find new hobbies, or volunteer somewhere close by (or far away). Taking time out of your day frees up some space for self-reflection and helps you better understand how you feel about your ex now versus how you felt before they left.

3. Focus on Self-Care

Self-care is imperative in any healthy relationship; however, if your partner has left, it becomes even more critical than ever before. The reason? If you aren’t taking care of yourself, it takes longer for those negative feelings surrounding the breakup to fade away because they will be focused solely on them and not on themselves or their happiness. Self-care can include anything that makes you happy – exercise, reading, playing video games – whatever it may

Find yourself again
After a breakup, you may start to feel lost. You’re not sure what to do or who you are without your ex-partner.

You need to find yourself again; the person that you were before the relationship started. Sometimes, it can be hard to remember that person when you’ve been tangled up in this new relationship.

So take time out to relax and reflect on who you are as a single person. Take a break from dating and focus on yourself for a while. This will give you time to think about what you really want in life and what kind of future you’d like to have moving forward.

Rebuild your life
If you’re obsessing over your ex, it’s time to change some things. Maybe you’ve been focusing on the relationship more than you should be, or maybe they’re not the right one for you. When it comes to a break-up, life is too short to do anything but enjoy what’s in front of you.

Looking back at your past relationships can help get rid of negative thoughts and helps you understand that all relationships are different. You’re not going to be stuck in this situation for the rest of your life; it’s time to move on and rebuild your life.

Open up to new relationships
This is probably the most important thing you can do. After a breakup, it can be hard to open up to new people because you’re still feeling raw from your last relationship. But when you open yourself up to new people and find a new love, this will help relieve your heartache.

If you’re not ready for a romantic relationship or aren’t feeling up for dating just yet, then get out there and make friends with people who are! Make sure that when you spend time with these new friends that you don’t talk about the ex–instead, focus on what’s happening in your life now and how happy it is. That way, when someone asks about him or her (or if they bring them up), it won’t affect your mood negatively.

Rewind back to why the relationship was great in the first place
Before you start overanalyzing things, it’s important to first figure out why the relationship worked in the first place. What made that person special? Was it a particular quality they had or something they did for you? Take a moment to figure out what it was and then move on from there.