It’s no secret that things have changed a lot in the realm of dating. Most notably, the normalization of online dating. With that being said, the rules for wooing the opposite sex through an online dating platform differ from interactions that would normally take place face-to-face. There are certain steps you need to take in order to get the match and successfully turn that match into a date.
Do you think that you practice good online dating etiquette? Check out our tips that’ll ensure your online dating goes off without a hitch.
Don’t wait too long
This one is obvious: don’t keep her waiting too long for a reply. Let’s be frank, you’re not the only fish in the sea of men she might be chatting with online. Therefore, it doesn’t take long for potential dates to lose interest if they think that you’re not interested. You’re both there to find a connection and if it’s coming off as one-sided, then chances are she’s not going to want to waste her time waiting around for you.
Replying within at least 24 hours is considered good online dating etiquette.
Don’t send follow up messages
We know you’re chomping at the bit to make a connection with someone you’ve recently matched with, but slow your roll. One of the easiest ways to put a nail in your own coffin is by badgering her with chat messages.
If someone is interested in you, they will at least respond within 24 hours of your last message. Give her time to respond without sending follow up messages. If she does not return your last message within that time frame, then you can send one follow up message— but that’s it!
You can send a funny gif or meme to draw on the fact that you might’ve been potentially ghosted. Or a message similar to these ones:
- “How’s it going? Just wanted to make sure you’re still alive on your end, even though I must’ve killed the last conversation we had. {insert smiling nervous emoji}”
- “Just wanted to tap in and say I hope your day is going well :-)”
Either of the above messages offer a no pressure response if for some reason she skipped over your last message or was too busy to respond at the time. If she doesn’t respond after your follow up, then take the hint and move on.
Don’t take it personal, because you’re all just trying to find a good connection and you don’t really owe a stranger anything.
Keep it positive
Although the saying goes, “misery loves company”, this does not apply to dating. The easiest way to put off a potential date is with negativity. People use online dating platforms to find someone fun to be around. Even though we’re all aware that life is full of ups and downs, this is not the time to share the woes of the world. With that being said, try to avoid the following topics of conversation:
- Politics— unless you’re both looking for someone to add to your debate teams, discussing politics is just a recipe for disaster; especially if you two have differing viewpoints
- Bad days/news— just don’t. You two aren’t even in a relationship yet, so why would she want to hear about your bad day at the office?
Be honest with her and yourself
Even if you’re not looking for anything serious, you should always be honest because you never know where things will take you. In the day of social media, white lies have a tendency to reveal themselves.
For instance, your match should be made aware if you have kids. For some people, this is a deal breaker and it’s not exactly something you can hide long term.
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Wait before asking for her number
Sometimes we have a knee jerk reaction when we finally match with someone and think, ‘I’ve got the girl!’ But getting that initial match is just the beginning of courtship in the online dating realm.
Things can change real quick when you’ve just begun talking to someone— especially if that person is a complete stranger. Asking for someone’s personal number that you’ve never even met can come off as too much, too fast. So even if you stood a chance before, then asking for her number too quickly can be grounds for a quick block or unmatch on her part.
Set up a date after at least a week
Unless you’re vibing with your match and want to set up a date before the week mark, it’s probably best to wait at least a week, but not too much longer than that if you’re both serious about making a real connection.
Setting up a date to meet too soon might rob you of the time to get to know each other better before meeting. Having the extra time to connect through the online dating app might open both of your eyes that it just wouldn’t work out in person and save the awkward first date situation from ever happening.
Ghost, block, or unmatch if you need to
Let’s say things aren’t going well between a recent match, you don’t need to give an explanation on why you’ve ceased to communicate with her. If you do decide to let her down easy, you can say something to the effect of, “I’m going to be honest here. I’m looking to find a real connection and I’m just not feeling it between us. I wish you nothing but the best and thank you for your time.”
If the idea of confrontation is just too much or you don’t want to bother having that awkward last conversation, it is perfectly acceptable to ghost, block, or unmatch a person that you’ve never even met. Most people use online dating apps to cut to the chase and nobody wants to waste their time. As previously mentioned, if you’re interested in a person then you will make the time to respond to messages promptly— doing the exact opposite sends an implicit message of disinterest. Therefore, if you’re not responding to her messages, then she will ultimately get the hint and move on.
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