Being an introvert doesn’t mean you have zero game- it just means you have to game differently. I get it: going out into the world and being (or appearing) more extroverted is not everyone’s idea of fun. If you are an introvert, these tips will help you on your journey to finding love.
1.Don’t try to be something you’re not.
Introverts tend to be quiet and reserved, and many people assume that means they don’t like to meet new people or aren’t good at socializing. But this isn’t true! Introverts actually make great partners because they’re usually more thoughtful and considerate than extroverts. So instead of trying to act like an extrovert (which will only make you feel uncomfortable and stressed), just be yourself!
2.look for people who share the same interests as you
If you’re into books, go to bookstores and read in cafes. If you like to garden, join a local group of gardening enthusiasts. Finding places where other introverted people might gather can be helpful in starting conversations and building relationships.
3. know what you want going in
Before you even think about planning dates with potential partners, make sure you know what your preferences are — and why. There are many reasons why someone might be shy or hesitant to open up straight away. Perhaps they’ve just come out of a long-term relationship and want to take things slowly. Or maybe they’ve been hurt before and want to protect themselves from getting hurt again. If that’s the case, then it’s important to respect them as an individual and not see them as a project that needs fixing. The same goes for controlling or manipulative behavior — this often comes from a place of low self-esteem and insecurity, so try to steer well clear of anyone who tries to coerce you into doing something you don’t want to do.
4. start small with dates that are comfortable for you
Many introverts fear meeting new people because it’s overwhelming for them. By attempting small acts such as saying hello to a stranger in public or attending local events where you can mingle with others in small groups, you’ll become more comfortable with face-to-face interactions.
5. go at your own pace, everyone has a different time table
Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t have to go on dates if that doesn’t sound fun to you. If you don’t want to go out with that person again, that’s ok too! Everyone has different time tables when it comes to dating, don’t compare yourself to others and try not to rush things just because they seem ready for something more serious than what you are comfortable with right now.
6. pay attention to body language
Introverts love one-on-one time, but chatting with someone and having to maintain eye contact the whole time is draining for us — no matter how interesting or attractive the person is.
This doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk, though! We just need some time to decompress after social situations and process our interactions with people. So when we aren’t talking as much as you might like, try not to take it personally.
6. Be honest about your needs and limits.
If you know you need at least a full day to yourself after work each week, tell your partner — and if you don’t know what your needs are yet, take time to think them through before getting into a serious relationship.
7.Pay attention to your posture.
Confident people make eye contact and sit up straight while they’re speaking. So if you really want to impress the person you’re on a date with, try paying attention to your posture and making eye contact as much as possible.
8.Don’t fidget or look around the room.
If you’re feeling nervous, it’s okay to fidget a little bit — but don’t go overboard! Keep your hands in front of your body like they’re folded together or on the table in front of you instead of fiddling with them under the table where no one can see what you’re doing. Also, it’s distracting for someone else if you keep looking around the room instead of focusing on them!
9.Learn how to be comfortable in your own skin.
Don’t try to change yourself just to fit what other people expect from you. It’s OK to have some alone time sometimes, and it’s also OK if you don’t love every party you go to. It took me years to learn this lesson, but when I did it made all the difference in the world for my happiness and self-esteem.
10.Make plans ahead of time.
In general, people are more likely to follow through when they have a plan and know when they’ll see each other again. But introverts tend to get excited by the possibilities and not put much thought into the logistics until the moment they meet someone new. So make plans early, especially if you’re not doing anything fun with your friends on a Saturday night.
10. Find the right balance between being alone and socializing
Introverts need their space so that they can recharge and get back out there in the world again. Many extroverts don’t understand why introverts like to be alone so much — why would someone want to spend time by themselves when they could be spending it with others? Well, it’s because introverts don’t just enjoy time by themselves; they need it in order to function properly. Extroverts tend to get drained when they spend too much time around other people, whereas introverts get drained when they spend too much time away from them. That’s why it’s important that your introverted partner understands what their needs are and how to address them accordingly — once they figure out how to take care of themselves, they’ll be able to take care of you.
Start with small steps if you want. Find someone close to you who might be interested in the same things, share what you have in common, and simply see where it goes from there. Do not put too much pressure on yourself or work yourself into a nervous wreck about it. Most importantly of all, have fun and remember that it is an experiment. It is true that some people are able to spark an instant connection on an emotional level with someone else, but for others dating can be a bit more difficult. Just make sure that you give yourself time to adjust to the process of dating, and start slow by doing activities that interest you. You will find that once you put your own mind at ease, the rest will follow suit.