It’s easy to get swept away when you’re in a new relationship. You feel like you can’t live without that person, and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make things work. But sometimes, it’s hard to tell whether or not you’re really in love. Signs you’re not really in love — but think you are.
1. You Don’t Miss Them When You’re Apart
When you’re in love with someone, spending time apart from them can be painful. When you’re not in love with someone, time away from them doesn’t phase you at all. If there’s no real desire to stay in touch or see each other when apart, there may be a lack of true love present.
2.You Don’t Want to Talk About the Future
Couples who are truly in love talk about their future together. They share their dreams and make plans to see them come true. In the absence of such discussion, there may be no real future for your relationship to have.
3. They’re Not Your First Reaction To News.
Part of being in love is wanting to share your life with them, especially the good news. If they’re not your first reaction to something exciting that’s happening in your life, it might be because you don’t see them as an integral part of your life yet.
4. You Don’t Crave Them Like Food Or Water.
It sounds dramatic, but when you’re in love, it can feel like you need the other person to survive. Rationally, we know this isn’t true, but when we really care about someone, we want to spend as much time with them as possible and when we can’t, we still think about them constantly. If you don’t find yourself thinking about them even when you’re busy doing other things or if spending time apart doesn’t bother you at all, then it might be because you haven’t fallen in love yet.
5. You Don’t Like Their Physical Touch.
Sometimes physical affection can feel like a chore, but if you’re in love with someone, even the most minor physical touch will make your whole body tingle with excitement.
6. Their Opinions Don’t Matter To You.
People in love often insist they were friends first. If that’s true, then how would your significant other describe you? Do they disagree on just about everything, but somehow make it work?
If so, there might be a powerful attraction at play, but you’re still not actually in love. Love involves respect and admiration. It means that your partner’s opinions matter to you — even if you don’t agree with them.
7. You Can’t Give Them 100%.
They deserve your time, attention and energy. So do your friends and family. They need you to show up for them when they have important events or bad days. Maybe your partner does, too — but only if it’s convenient for you.
8. Neither of you has to compromise or make sacrifices.
Compromise is what makes relationships work. If one of you always wants to have dinner at eight and the other always wants to have dinner at 10, someone eventually has to give in and settle for something different than what they want. The fact that both parties are willing to give up something for the greater good is what makes relationships strong. If neither one of you is willing to do this, then your relationship won’t last long.
9.You don’t trust them.
You’re worried they’ll cheat on you. You’ve caught them in a lie before, so you can’t help but question their honesty. You don’t know if they’re telling the truth when they say they have a work thing tonight and have to stay over at a friend’s house. Either way, if you’re suspicious of your partner, you definitely don’t love them.
10.You think about breaking up all the time.
They annoy you, and sometimes you wonder why you even like them at all. In fact, there will be moments when you seriously consider breaking up with them because life would just be easier that way. But of course, once the anger subsides, you remember why you started dating them in the first place — and it’s not because you love them.
11.You don’t want to spend time with them.
Whenever they call or text, your stomach drops because all you want is to be alone right now — or with someone else entirely. You can only stand being around them for so long before they start to bug you again. You don’t miss them when they leave because that would mean missing out on some valuable me time.
12. You Talk About Your Exes Together
The best relationships involve people who are completely in the moment, not stuck in the past. If you’re always talking about your exes and how they did things, or if you’re comparing him to your exes, that’s a sign you’re not really in love with the person you’re with. It means that you don’t see a long-term future together and that you’ll likely jump ship when someone better comes along. It also means that you’re not really listening to what he has to say; it’s simply fodder for comparison with what your ex used to do.
13. You flirt with other guys in front of him
Maybe he’s not really “the one” if you can’t help but flirt with other guys when he’s around. Even if it’s innocent flirting, it can be a sign of insecurity on your part — do you need reassurance that this relationship is going well? Or maybe it’s a sign of boredom — are you looking for a distraction from the fact that this relationship isn’t working? Either way, it’s bad news for the two of you as a couple and may indicate that this “love” isn’t real at all but just an illusion.
I want you to think now, hard. Do you feel like your relationship is going well or do you find yourself questioning whether it’s even real? Acknowledging the differences between real love and infatuation will help you to truly be in love. After all, you deserve to be happy.