So you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. And while it could be better, it’s not that bad. You’re just happy to be in the relationship and happy to have found someone you can share your life with. But you still want more out of the relationship. You want to turn an ok relationship into an outstanding one.
1.Try new things together.
If you and your partner want to try something new, go ahead and give it a shot. Maybe you want to try skydiving or go on a trip together. If you and your partner try something new, it’ll help you grow as a couple. You also will be able to have fun together by doing something different.
2. Make plans together.
If you’re always looking ahead and making plans together, you’ll be more likely to have a great time together. This can mean deciding where to go on vacation or even what movie to watch tonight. When you’re both involved in the planning process and looking forward to the same thing, it will be much better than just passively doing what your partner wants to do all the time.
3. Use humor judiciously and carefully.
Humor can be a great disarming tool in a heated discussion. However, make sure that it doesn’t come across as being sarcastic or condescending. People’s sense of humor is different; what one person may find funny another may find offensive.
4.Make positive comments about the other person as often as possible.
Criticism is hard to hear and consider; praise is much easier to absorb. Once someone feels listened to and respected, they are much more willing to listen and respect others’ points of view.
5. Give them space when they need it.
The key to a successful relationship is acknowledging the fact that sometimes it’s healthy for each person to get a little distance from their significant other. Being around someone 24/7 can be overwhelming, so having some time apart allows each person to miss the other and strengthen their bond. If your partner needs some time alone, respect their wishes and give them a break from being with you every second of the day. On the flip side, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or need some space, tell your partner and politely ask for a little break from being together. You’ll be surprised by how much better you feel after getting some time apart.
6. Write notes of appreciation.
Whether it’s leaving a sticky note on their computer screen at work or sending them a text message telling them how much they mean to you, letting your partner know that you appreciate them will make them feel loved and more connected with you.
7.Surprise them with a massage.
Couples massages are a great way to relax while spending some quality time together. The masseur will lead the two of you through your massage, but you can also take turns giving each other massages after it’s done. Light some candles and put on some music, or give each other massages in the bathtub or even in front of the fireplace during a cold winter day.
8. Spend quality time together
If you’re constantly on your phone or computer instead of focusing on your partner, that can lead to trouble in the relationship. If your partner feels ignored, they might start to feel resentful towards you and view your device as a rival for your affection.
By setting aside time to spend together without distractions and phones, it shows that your partner is worth more than whatever is happening on Facebook or Instagram and builds real connection between the two of you.
9. Speak kindly to your partner.
Speak kindly to your partner. It’s easy to take the people closest to us for granted and speak to them in tones that we wouldn’t use on anyone else. We do this because they’re always there, they always listen and they’re never going anywhere. But that doesn’t mean we should get lazy with our communication style.
10. Be mindful of how you speak to your partner, and let your tone be one that you would use on a good friend (low-key, playful).
This can be difficult if you feel frustrated or angry, but it is essential. Try to listen to what they’re saying and find something positive in it. For example, if they say their day was terrible, ask them what made it so bad. If you want to help them feel better, ask them what kinds of things would make them feel more optimistic about the future.
11. Stop looking for perfection.
It’s easy to compare your own relationship to those around you. Maybe your best friend just got engaged, or maybe your sister just had a baby and it seems like their life is perfect. But there is no such thing as a perfect relationship; they all have their ups and downs. The key is learning how to work through them together.
12. Be honest with yourself.
Do you have overblown expectations? Is your partner perfect in every way — except for that one thing? If so, repeat after me: Nobody is perfect and nobody will ever be perfect. If you can accept your partner as he is, you’ll be happier and find him more attractive. Just don’t expect him to change for you; if there’s something about him that really bothers you, say so.
The bottom line is this: If you want to take your relationship to the next level, then you need to step it up. So make yourself and your partner feel special by creating a list of the things that they do that makes them fantastic and awesome, and focus on enhancing those strengths instead of trying to change their shortcomings.