Settling in your relationship can be a bit troublesome. Some signs that you’re settling in your relationship include disappearing passion and connection. It probably seems weird that you might even wonder if you’re settling, however, it might be a good thing to take a step back and evaluate your relationship. There are certain things that could actually be warning signs of things to come, especially if the passion and excitement has started to fade or become less frequent or has stopped altogether.
1.You’re not feeling fulfilled by the relationship.
This could take many forms: You constantly feel like something is missing or like there’s someone better out there for you; there’s “no spark” anymore; you’re feeling unappreciated; there’s a lack of chemistry or passion; or maybe (and this is a big “maybe”) they’re just not that into you anymore.
2.You’re making changes you wouldn’t have made otherwise
You don’t need to change for anyone else, no matter how wonderful the person is. If your partner is encouraging you to make changes that don’t feel positive for you, then that should be a red flag. This doesn’t mean minor adjustments, like trying out new foods or agreeing to watch football once in a while — but major changes, like giving up interests or limiting goals.g yourself.
3. You’re afraid of being alone
No one wants to be alone, but that isn’t a good reason to stay in a relationship with someone who isn’t right for you. Imagine what life would be like without this person in it — would it be better? Would it be worse?
4.Your friends are worried about you.
Your friends may be concerned because you’re always picking up extra slack for your partner — it could be cleaning up their messes at home or dealing with their problems with work or family. If that sounds familiar, though, it could just mean that you’re into someone with a different personality type than yours.
If suddenly your friends are no longer around very often, that could be a sign of trouble too. Sure, everyone gets busy from time to time. But if you’ve noticed that your friends never seem to have time for you anymore and instead always seem to be hanging out with your partner (and not inviting you), there could be a problem.
5.You feel like the other person is trying to change you.
Any time you start dating someone new, there are certain things you’re going to have to accept about them. They might have a weird sense of humor or they could be addicted to online shopping or they might be really messy — those are all little quirks that you can live with. But if your partner is blatantly trying to change who you are as a person, that’s not cool. No one should have to give up their sense of self just so they can please another person in a relationship.
6.You don’t think that you’re good enough for them.
It’s nice when someone makes you feel confident about yourself, but it becomes an issue when you feel like you don’t deserve them and there has to be something wrong with them for wanting to be with someone like you. It means that your partner isn’t making you feel as important as he should be — and that can lead to major self-doubt down the line.
7.You’re constantly giving yourself pep talks to stay.
If you find yourself constantly having to convince yourself that things are okay or that you’re happy, something is probably off. You shouldn’t have to talk yourself into being happy in a relationship — if it’s right, it’ll just feel like a no-brainer.
8.You’ve stopped trying to impress each other.
When you first got together, your boyfriend probably showered you with attention and gifts for special occasions like your birthday or Valentine’s Day. He may have even been the one texting first and suggesting dates all the time. But now, you barely see each other and communicate mostly by text. No one is initiating plans anymore, and both of your closets are full of presents he gave you way back when.
9.The two of you don’t want to do the same things.
When you first start dating someone new, it’s tempting to only want to do what they want to do. You want to impress them and make them happy, so if they want to grab dinner and go see a movie, that’s what you do.
However, as time goes by, the two of you should start expanding your horizons together — or at the very least find ways to compromise on activities. If neither of you is willing to budge and give up an activity for the other person, it could be a sign that one or both of you is settling because it’s too hard or uncomfortable to discuss your needs with your partner.
10.Your partner’s family doesn’t like you.
You always want to be around your partner’s family, and they never want to be around you. If you are never invited to family events or your partner’s parents don’t seem to like you, it’s a sign that you might not be in a relationship that can last.
11.You’ve started to resent your partner.
Relationships are complicated. They require work and effort to build and maintain, especially if you want them to last for a long time. When we’re in a relationship with someone, there are going to be times when we aren’t happy with our partner — whether it’s because of something they said or did (or didn’t say or do), or simply because of the stress that comes from being in a relationship with another human being who is also flawed.
However, just because we don’t always see eye-to-eye with our partner doesn’t mean we need to break up with them. It simply means that there are times when we’re going to have disagreements, and that’s OK! But if you start feeling like you’re resenting your partner more often than not, you might want to step back and evaluate why that is.
It’s usually easy to spot early on in a relationship whether you’re settling or really and truly invested in the relationship. If you’re looking at this and wondering if perhaps you’re settling, the answer is probably yes – but only if it really feels that way to you. If you feel genuine, honest love for your partner, then those doubts will likely evaporate after some time has passed. Instead of worrying about whether or not you’re settling, just focus on whether or not you feel right with what’s happening between you and your partner.